Transit Strike
by Cody Williams

Did you hear the one about the different parts of the body debating which was the most important?

The eyes, ears and legs all laughed when the anus tried to assert its worth.

So the anus went on strike.

After the toxins from blocked up waste spread through the body and blinded the eyes, deafened the ears and rendered the legs useless all of the parts relented and declared the anus the most important part of the body.

The moral of the story?

Sometimes it pays to be an Asshole.

Many New Yorkers complained after being inconvenienced during the city’s recent three day transit strike. Unionized bus and subway crews took to the streets to ensure that new hires receive the same pension benefits promised to workers under previous contracts. Management had taken a first step in cutting back on retirement security benefits the workers had come to rely on. Seven million New Yorkers took to the street too, only on foot, hoofing it to work, doubling up in cabs and carpooling in an effort to keep the world’s commercial, financial and media capital up and running.

Coming just days before Christmas, toxic inertia brought on by the strike threatened to cost in the billions of dollars for each day the transit system was down. Like the toxins rippling through the body after the ass went on strike, the financial impact of the transit worker’s strike in New York City had the potential to wreak havoc on the state and regional economies as well.

Many folks questioned why the TWU would strike. I heard comments like, “the average TWU worker makes $55,000 per year in salary,” and, “those people should have gone to school to get better jobs.” One highly paid bank employee actually complained that because of the strike his maid would not be able to make it in to clean his swank Fifth-avenue high-rise apartment. “How dare they,” he proclaimed.

The retirement of working-class Americans have become less secure in recent years. Workers who had planned to retire on pensions they thought they earned while working for years now find they may be forced to work years, maybe decades longer. Company like Sears Roebuck & Co., Motorola Inc., Verizon Communications Inc. and IBM Corp are freezing employee pensions to cut costs.

Corporate scandals raided pension funds at Enron and WorldCom. Congress threatens an insolvent social security system within the next twenty years. Upper management decision makers have declared past pension promises unnecessary liabilities and have sought to replace them with employee funded 401k plans and other ‘cost saving’ instruments.

For their efforts in reducing financial liabilities these corporate executives are being paid astronomical salaries and bonuses. They devise for themselves and each other generous ‘golden parachutes’ where at their retirement, or any other type of separation from their job, they are to be paid hundreds of millions of dollars effectively guaranteeing for themselves comfortable retirements and the opportunity to pass wealth on to future generations.

Are these corporate executives more important than anyone else who works for an organization?

Let the entire lot of them not show up for work for any three days of the year and see if they are as effective at bringing a city to its knees as has been done by the transit union workers.

How man current or former IBM, Sears or Verizon workers wish they had a union going to bat for their secured retirement?

Overall, the New York transit strike was no more interruptive than a severe snow storm. But, depending on how American workers follow the union’s leadership, the strike may just become the walkout heard around the world. In striking the TWU effectively stated, “Our retirement is just as important as your golden parachute. Don’t make us have to show our asses.”